Be Polite

Grandmaster Han has repeatedly said, these principles have their source in the Bible. So, that is where we will look:

This principle is so important and yet so misunderstood. Although it appears second in my review of the six principles, we often say it first in our recitation. It is closely tied to patience. If patience has most to do with our attitude and temperament, politeness has most to do with our speech and communication.

David prayed to the LORD, "Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips" (Psalm 141:3).

Why would this greatest of kings pray in this way? It is because the tongue is such a powerful and potentially dangerous member of our bodies. James writes,

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell (James 3:6).

Today, the tongue finds expression not only in what is said but also in what is written (e.g. emails, texts, social media). Therefore, the principle of politeness must cover both spoken and written communication.

Now, politeness is not the same thing as political correctness, nor is it apathy, nor silence in the face of error or wrongdoing. Polite communication has more to do with how something is said than what is said. The word "polite" is not found in Scripture, but the principle of courtesy and well-mannered speech, as defined by the dictionary, is captured in many passages of Scripture:

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:6).

Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin (Proverbs 13:3).

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19).

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).

But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned (Matthew 12:36-37).

Being polite means refusing to use coarse and obscene language. Polite communication avoids shouting matches, email rants, and character assaults via social media. Politeness involves listening much more and speaking much less. Being polite means seriously considering the feelings and well-being of the other person. Being polite may often mean silence and choosing words with care, so that what is communicated both honors the Lord and edifies the other person.

People sometimes misunderstand politeness for weakness because the polite show a preference for gentleness over force. But as I showed how patience is stronger than impatience, politeness is wiser than coarseness.

I remember a scene from the movie "Enter the Dragon", where Bruce Lee was harassed by one of the competitors en route to Han's (no relation) island tournament. This competitor was the epitome of impoliteness. He was willing to break tournament rules, which strictly forbade competitors from fighting outside the tournament. He was forward and pushy and unwilling to respect Lee's refusal to fight. Finally, he demanded that Lee fight with him and demonstrate what he meant by "fighting without fighting".

Bruce Lee acquiesced and suggested they fight on a near-by island. As the competitor got into a row boat to go to the island, Lee pretended to get in with him but then released the boat to drift behind the ship. As the competitor in the little row boat struggled to keep from sinking, Lee commandeered the boat by an attached rope, then gave the rope to some crewmen, whom this competitor had been harassing earlier. Bruce Lee won this fight and demonstrated his way of fighting without fighting.

To be impolite is to be irrational and unwise. Impoliteness shows a lack of self-control. Like impatience, impoliteness arises out of pride. Impoliteness tends to cloud real issues and incite defensive reactions. Impoliteness is incongruent with gracious speech. And like impatience, impoliteness can cloud wise judgment.

Our martial artists must always be polite, by which I mean considerate of others, gracious in communication, and careful to edify others and honor God with their words. Saying "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" is but the tip of the iceberg in regard to politeness. Being polite touches all aspect of our communication, and as words have the power to destroy, they also have the power to do great good. Being polite means that we wisely wield this weapon of words.